Friday, September 24, 2010

Why? & The house that built me

I'm so over this hormonal BS. I'm still 137 pounds. Down from 167, but big whoop, Jugernaut was over 8 pounds and the fluid, blood, placenta etc... gad had to be like 10!!  The days of being 94-100 pounds are over. I get that. I accept that. Really I do. But this sucks badger balls. I have a ginormous belly flap (think click) and looks like I'm still 6 months preg. My incision is not healing right and looks like frakenbelly. Not to mention the other pleasantness that should have stopped by now. WTF!!

And other than the love I have for the crotch critters I've gestated and brought into this world, I would like to go back to being numb and cold hearted. Its easier. I wear my b*tch face well.
And I was reminded yet again today what A b*tch I am...  because well someone else's mistakes are ALWAYS my fault.
Its amazing how some things never change. Not amazing. PATHETIC! I have to make myself accept they never will change. 

The things we want to hold onto and never want to change, always do. And the things that need change the most, that you WANT to change the most never do.
The house that built me... we're both falling apart.

*Drove past my G & G's house. Its still for sale. Has been for awhile. Its been both ridiculously low priced, and ridiculously high priced. Which is what it is right now. Beyond crazy high for the condition it is in. I'd pay $40,000, NOT $90,000!! That is insane. Looked in the front window. Drove down the back alley. The house looks like complete sh*t. MUCH worse than the pics. Totally broke my heart. I love that house. I wanted to buy that house. Me and the house are pretty much in the same condition at this point. Pretty soon we will both turn to dust.*

Maybe if I could love the house back into functioning shape,  I could get the same in return.

1 comment:

FireCracker! said...

Well its down to $78,000 now. Stil way to much. Gram sold it for $58,000 and it was in MUCH better condition