Wordpress

Actually this is the main one. This is all new and confusing.....
http://myirishgypsysoul.wordpress.com/

protected posts at wordpress

I am testing this out. So if you want the password to read the posts, let me know 
http://gypsywishes.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/somewhere-over-the-rainbow-and-other-bullshit/

Changes

Courage to change oneself is the hardest to find.

David Bowie - Changes (Edit)

Why? & The house that built me

Seriously
I'm so over this hormonal BS. I'm still 137 pounds. Down from 167, but big whoop, Jugernaut was over 8 pounds and the fluid, blood, placenta etc... gad had to be like 10!!  The days of being 94-100 pounds are over. I get that. I accept that. Really I do. But this sucks badger balls. I have a ginormous belly flap (think click) and looks like I'm still 6 months preg. My incision is not healing right and looks like frakenbelly. Not to mention the other pleasantness that should have stopped by now. WTF!!

And other than the love I have for the crotch critters I've gestated and brought into this world, I would like to go back to being numb and cold hearted. Its easier. I wear my b*tch face well.
And I was reminded yet again today what A b*tch I am...  because well someone else's mistakes are ALWAYS my fault.
Its amazing how some things never change. Not amazing. PATHETIC! I have to make myself accept they never will change. 

The things we want to hold onto and never want to change, always do. And the things that need change the most, that you WANT to change the most never do.
_____________________________________________________
The house that built me... we're both falling apart.


*Drove past my G & G's house. Its still for sale. Has been for awhile. Its been both ridiculously low priced, and ridiculously high priced. Which is what it is right now. Beyond crazy high for the condition it is in. I'd pay $40,000, NOT $90,000!! That is insane. Looked in the front window. Drove down the back alley. The house looks like complete sh*t. MUCH worse than the pics. Totally broke my heart. I love that house. I wanted to buy that house. Me and the house are pretty much in the same condition at this point. Pretty soon we will both turn to dust.*

Maybe if I could love the house back into functioning shape,  I could get the same in return.
dreamland

The joys of Snark

Well I got this idea from a couple of great blogs I follow, and passing some snarky emails back n forth w some friends... much is left off of both lists, but snarky is as snarky does.. haha

Things I am good at:

verbal vomit
yelling (as per Windy)
making lists
being constipated
procrastination
wipping out a boob (or 2)
binge eating
holding grudges
death glares
walking around in public w a b*tch face
avoiding ppl
hating ppl
coming up w new ways to kill ppl in my mind
swearing
reading
decorating in my head
washing laundry
changing diapers
clutter
OCD ^
embarrassing my children
genealogy
loving the sun/summer
daydreaming/escapism
telling the truth
driving like a one eyed maniac w teen kids friends in the car (so they dont ask me 4 rides)
despite the above, trying my best as a mom & loving my children w all my heart & soul

Things I suck at:

anything athletic
pooping
cooking
baking anything but brownies & muffins
ice skating
lying
organization
math
natural childbirth
putting away the laundry
being quiet
dieting/healthy eating
forgiveness
trusting ppl
not getting road rage
having good/nice hair days
liking ppl
decorating in real life
tolerating cold/winter
tolerating pain
tolerating drama
tolerating selfish ppl
tolerating narcissistic ppl
tolerating ppl who always have to "one up u"  as in; u did it, they did it better. u got it, they got it more. u had it bad, they had it worse. u know something, they know something more...
taking care of myself
not breaking my glasses
standing up for myself
eating liver
card games
time management
money management
remembering names
not gagging when I see men with long fingernails
giving up on ppl I love

My 2nd pushy son was born @36 1/2 weeks... on 8/27/10@ 12:51am. 8 pounds 1oz, 21 1/2 inches . 

I'm wondering if I can use icons instead of words to vent or sum up the feelings of the day... Hmmm? we will see I guess... 34 weeks preg and feeling like I could go any min. The fibro has been about the same. Not horrible, but def not gone like with Tsunami! But the fatigue seems to be nevr ending and I HATE it!

The little Red Hen ate a BIG bowl of BITCHY this morning

It has been so frustrating living here and being unable to make my home the way I want. Either because of financial or health or now pregnancy reasons. I want to paint. I dream of painting. At least one wall sheesh... But ofcourse we need to take the walls/(god awful ugly panelling) down and the dining room ceiling 1st and drywall everything. And I fear that won't ever happen. Because well honestly no one ever shows up to help. Always helping and never being helped. Its pathetic how ppl expect never to be told no, but then when it comes time to reciprocate... oh look imagine that... no...
There has been a total of 2 friends help since living here. They know who they are ;-)
Honestly my fat ass can't even decorate, because surprise surprise all my "help" is out helping someone else!!!!
So much to do and no so called friends or family have the decency to lend a hand. 
I am so sick of ppl thinking they can use use use. And ofcourse because I actually speak up and start to stand up for my family and say NO... oh then ofcourse I'm a bitch!
I may be a prisoner of circumstance now, but I wont always be one.

Assesment

I used to post on here about once a month a few years ago. And due to certain circumstances in my life I chose to stop... and deleted all my posts, another example of how I let others influence my decisions.
I really have no intention of beginning again as those who know me and love me will be informed & know all the important stuff.
But it does amaze me sometimes that in all my 38 years there is one constant I can count on, and that is people can't be counted on...
So I am thankful for those that are not fairweather friends. The people in my life who truly care. I have ejected those that only think "what has so and so done for me?" And claimed to be someone they are not. 
I've learned some lessons and discovered some things about myself and a few people I thought I knew and loved. My eyes are clear and I see things for what they are. 
And I'm glad I finally have closure and have resolved certain ghosts of the past.
And Iam thankful for the unexpected gifts that have popped up in my life in the last year. I hope you know who you are. <3 
  
Another chapter in my book of life. I bought my first house. Quite the fixer upper, and many things to consider for the future. My eldest daughter will be 18 in June. A senior and learning to manage her own money. And my baby girl will be sweet sixteen in August. Well I don't know about the sweet part! My miracle boy will be 2 in Sept and his brother to be born the same month! So my brood is complete.
My door is always open to my family and true friends. You know where I live, and there is no pretentiousness (sp?) here. My house is a mess, my kids are wild, and I'm happy with that. So those that are vain and materialistic and want to judge, don't bother... There is dust and clutter, toys and crumbs on the floor, and tons of laundry to be done. There will be time enough later to clean. I know whats important! Do you?